|
Fragments
of a Life |
|
|
"Character cannot be developed in ease
and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be
strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success
achieved," - Helen Keller |
Zen
has a sense of humour "Chance events and curious
encounters seemed to plague my life and point  to some
other dimension at work, often sending an uncomfortable feeling down my
spine. Like the time I was browsing in a Kings Cross bookshop. The only
title that even vaguely interested me was John Lennon’s Spaniard in
the Works. As I was making a move to leave I bumped one of the
shelves. A paperback dislodged from the top and bounced off my forehead.
The Way of Zen it was called. I laughed, but it wasn’t a healthy
laughter. ‘Zen has a sense of humour’ my guru friend from Palm
Beach had told me only a week ago when I had inquired about the very same
book in his private shelf. I started to wonder whether the universe was
playing tricks on me." |
Drugs
and booking bands
"....I
had arrived in Sydney in mid-1974 with only $300 in my pocket and no job
prospects. Within weeks I’d given up any hope of finding work, joined
the dole queue and begun to spend time at the Kava Bowl at the Manly
Hotel, a regular hang out for drug dealers and users. Soon  small time drug dealing supplemented my benefit and an association with
local musicians saw me arranging occasional Sunday concerts on the Manly
beach front…My relationships with Sydney’s booking agents grew and
eventually I was asked to team up with an agent (one time Kiwi recording
artist Gene Pierson) who booked Chequers, Whiskey and other colourful
nightspots. Before long we had struck a deal with Channel 9 to start a
record label. I become responsible for finding acts for Bandstand and the
Super Flying Fun Show as well as booking local venues.
The joints were burning from the moment we got to work until late evening….I managed Whiskey A Go Go - renaming it the Whiskey Soul Palace, after a fire burned out the downstairs part. Then I took on management of black American singer/guitarist Bobby Warren and got stranded back in New Zealand after a local promoter went broke during a tour in mid-1976. |
|
|
Mysticism,
spiritism and confusion "Stranded
back in Godzone in mid-1976 the only way I could keep my mind off my
problems was to read. I filled my head with stories about UFOs,
spiritualism, lost continents, unexplained mysteries, psychic phenomenon,
pyramid power and astral projection.  I
threw myself wholeheartedly into the world that had been breathing down
my neck in Sydney. The world I had shrugged aside in favour of the
nightlife.
"Now I would have leaped at the personal invitation I had received
to take a cruise on Sydney harbour with Sri Chinmoy, the guru of guitarists Carlos
Santana and John McLaughlan…I continued my search for spiritual truth,
knowing only that there was a spiritual aspect to humanity. There had to
be, to |
Conflict
of cultures
"The next stage in the divine plan to turn my life around began when
I half-heartedly stood up at a Full Gospel Businessmen’s meeting where an
Australian was speaking. My parents had been telling me about their new
understanding of Christianity which was changing their lives and had been
pestering me to check it out. My father was a pastor who had been
alienated from the Anglican church because of his belief in divine healing
and miracles. While I was raised a Christian and attended Sunday
School and Bible class these things had failed to keep my attention as 60s
music culture and my fascination with breaking the boundaries took
precedence. I felt very nervous at that meeting, particularly when the speaker spoke out against Eastern religion and Yoga. I had been attending regular yoga classes and was leaning strongly toward the east in my reading and thinking. I put God to the test that night. Something tugged at my insides and I stood reluctantly to my feet, although I didn’t go forward for prayer. While that may seem a spiritual high point it was to become the opposite for me. A deep frustration began to burn inside me. I began drinking late into the night and often getting written off on a combination of booze and dope.  I
spent a lot of time consulting my friend the astrologer and ended up
attending a Buddhist retreat at Taupo.
"After two days of sitting cross legged on a hard wooden floor
listening to long rambling Tibetan monotones translated into long rambling
English monotones I began to wonder what I was doing there. I remained
obedient, listening, visualizing and breathing. Then came the endless
chanting and banging of symbols and the movies of hundreds of monks doing
the same. |
| As
you think in your heart, so you are -
Proverbs 23:7 Wisdom makes your face shine - Ecclesiastes 8:1, Daniel 12 |
God's
sense of humour
 "While
Get Up ‘n Go was still being published in Palmerston North I ran
a rock concert just outside of the city. There were about 13 acts but the
event was spoiled when a local bike gang rode through the audience and
several brawls erupted. I was angry and voiced my disgust in the local
newspaper. Some months later I foolishly accepted an invitation to a party
at the gang’s headquarters. I was drunk and stoned. The concert seemed
so long ago but the party’s hosts hadn’t forgotten my comments in the
paper. As the glass jug connected with my jaw and a knee headed for my
face I cried out deep inside with all the strength I could muster: ‘Lord
Jesus save me now!’ I remember nothing else. Apparently the gang
members had laid the boot in and when a police siren was heard outside my
friends rolled me under a vehicle then carried me from the premises. I had
cracked ribs, missing teeth and a lot of bruises. What should have been
the hiding of my life served as another divine reminder that God was
trying to get my attention. Curiously the door of the car I was bundled
into was bent against a concrete lamppost in the hurried getaway. A week
later a member of the same bike gang missed a turn at an intersection and
ploughed into that same door and his insurance ended up paying for it. The
driver was astounded at the co-incidence. It seemed God also had a sense
of humour." - Spaniard in the Works, Excerpts from Voice
magazine Vol 2, No 11 (1983) |
Fooling
myself
"I used my camera as an excuse to attend the Good News 80 gospel crusade at
the Palmerston North Showgrounds. I wore my multi-patched hippy jeans and
told myself, this is for the magazine’. The grandstand was packed except
for one seat, so I took it, then gingerly looked about to see if anyone
had sprung me. Right next to me sat Billy Larkin (Te Awe Awe), a musician
I had come to know over the years. He’d been convinced to attend by his
younger sister and wasn’t very comfortable either. He asked me if I had
any cigarette papers so we could go out and roll a joint. I didn’t have
any papers as I had given up dope smoking for a time and was quietly
reading the Bible in a desperate attempt to make sense of my out of
control life. Then came the altar call. I didn’t want to respond and
neither did Bill but something else was going on. Both of us were standing and moving forward before we even had time to protest.
Our legs it seemed had carried us to the front." |
Caught
between two worlds
The next time I saw Billy he was a changed person, his face shone and he
was saying crazy things like ‘praise the Lord’. I couldn’t stand it.
Then I saw another friend who had gone berserk while AWOL from the Navy
and ended up in prison. He too was saying things like ‘hallelujah' and
talking about being ‘born again’. After  receiving
visits from the likes of these two I was a bundle of nerves. I didn’t
want my friends thinking I associated with that kind of person. Even the
barman at the hotel where I drank was starting to talk about Christianity
and began giving me material to read. He was in the process of sorting his
life out and asked me if I would like to attend church with him one Sunday. I told him I’d think about it because I’d already paid
for my ticket to the Boomtown Rats concert – a whole busload of us were
going. It was time to choose. I knew if I went on that bus my
abstinence from drugs and alcoholic excess would be instantly over
"Come Sunday I felt rather strange. It was like I was standing between two worlds. From the time I got up there was a battle going on in my mind. Shall I go to the concert or to church? By late afternoon I opted for the concert and started walking to the bus stop just a block away from where I lived. Everyone knows where the bus stop is but my mind was filled with confusion and I couldn’t find it. I knew deep within me that I was meant to be going to church that night, so I did. "I couldn’t tell you what the preacher said but standing nervously at the back of the church an angel voice choir sounded out above the songs of praise and gave me peace. The soft electricity of God’s Holy Spirit vibrated through my being and for the first time I knew that God was love. From that time on I knew he was going to steer my life in a new direction and that things would never be the same. "I floated out of that church. Several weeks later I lost my job
and got kicked out of my flat. God had put a sign over me: ‘Life under
reconstruction’. He wasn’t going to allow anything to get in the way.
In deep tribulation he gave me peace…he took everything out from under
me and gave me a desire to learn about him. Suddenly Challenging
Church (the next 20-years) |
|
|
|
Chapel Perilous
Get
Up 'n Gone
Prodigal
Keith Who?
Zeros
& ones in love
Whodunit?
Back to Garage
Door |
Backgrounder
Garage CD
(lyrics
& music ) Garage
book
(The new electronic book 2001) |
The most recent 20-years are another story altogether as I have continued to
find my own stubborn winding way facing hurts, heartbreak and unpleasant
truths about myself along with great release and understanding. My one
determination has been to refuse to let go of my faith and to interpret
the resulting experiences and lessons through poems, prose, song lyrics,
articles and studies. 
ease that deep ache, the hollowness, the inner crying for
fulfillment. This was no physical pain.
"My
curiosity led me to spiritualist churches, mediums and theosophical
meetings. Two of my close friends lectured on the occult, one was an
astrologer the other a wizard and tarot card reader ….I became a
self-made authority on many occult-related matters and even worked toward
producing a magazine called Other Images. I wrote to organisations
all around 
the
world and received a stream of feedback from new age groups but the
magazine never came to be. Instead I launched an entertainment guide for
the Manawatu called Get Up ‘n Go which came out regularly between
1978 and 1980 when I had to sell my printing press and Triumph Speed Twin
motorcycle to avoid bankruptcy." - Spaniard in the Works, excerpts
from Voice magazine Vol 2, No 11 (1983)
after being a chore to read the Bible came alive. I burned the occult
books and magazines I had amassed, sold my extensive record collection and
used the money to buy teaching tapes. God planted me back in the garden of
Eden – actually the nursery my parents owned in Feiding where I worked
and studied until I became adjusted to the new life in Christ…Today I
have a tremendous sense of things working together in God. It seems all
situations eventually lead back to the Creator…and that his great plan
is revealed to us in this age through his son, Jesus the Christ. He’s
overcome all the ‘Spaniards’ (spanners) in the works and beside him
all other lights pale"